It's not every day that you come across an alcoholic talking dog! Well step into the crazy world of Family Guy! Amongst others, there's Stewie, the maniacal one-year-old bent on world domination, and then there's Brian, the sarcastic dog with a wit as dry as the martinis he drinks! Brian is basically a dog who likes his liquor! He's as sarcastic as can be and comes up with some of the funniest phrases you'll ever hear! Luckily one of these will play every time you use your bottle opener, meaning you'll be as desperate as he is for another beer, just so you can hear another of these fantastic phrases!! There are FIVE fantastic phrases that Brian will say! Who do you need to hump to get a dry martini around here! Don’t make me beg! Aah, I need a cocktail! I am not drunk, I just have a speech impediment! I leave more personality in tightly coiled piles on the lawn! When not in use, simply use the magnet and leave it on the fridge, perfectly handy for your next beer! Fantastic!
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So, there I was roysh, life focked, reputation focked, finances focked everything completely focked, and roysh. And it's all Fionn's fault, basically. He's the four-eyed focker who told me that, like, the first time you do it, roysh, you're firing blanks. I am seriously beginning to feel like I am the only sane goy in the whole of, like, Dublin.
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There I was roysh, in a state of blissful ignorance, when suddenly Sorcha's up the Damien and I have to listen to, like, women's stuff. I am telling you, roysh, I never even knew nipples could crack and I was very happy not knowing it. Now I'm basically expected to be an expert on how to, like, breathe like Dorth Vader and deal with baby turds.
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